Intentional Networking: Building Purposeful Networks Of Influence
This summer, I’ve been speaking at diversity and inclusion conferences and women’s leadership forums and sharing strategies to help women accelerate their professional success. It’s a topic that I explore in my new book, Climbing the Spiral Staircase. After many months spent working remotely and finalizing the book’s content, I’ve been grateful not only for the opportunity to share these critical lessons, but also to participate in panels, chat with other leaders, and exchange ideas and insights. I’ve missed these times and places of connection that had once been a routine part of my work.
In fact, the past two years have highlighted precisely how much we need others, personally and professionally. Research into the impact of the COVID pandemic has shown that increased social isolation is associated with decreased life satisfaction, higher levels of depression, and lower levels of psychological well-being. Importantly, this research also confirmed that professionals who report high social isolation experience much lower satisfaction with their work.
When I talk about the importance of networking, many people assume that I’m highlighting the need for transactional connections, the awkward small talk at a professional meetup or cocktail hour while holding a plate of cheese and crackers. This is a common misunderstanding of what networking is or should be. Those opportunistic conversations designed to lead to a specific goal or the delivery of a quick sales pitch are precisely why so many of the professional women I work with tell me they dread networking events.
This summer, I’ve been speaking at diversity and inclusion conferences and women’s leadership forums and sharing strategies to help women accelerate their professional success. It’s a topic that I explore in my new book, Climbing the Spiral Staircase. After many months spent working remotely and finalizing the book’s content, I’ve been grateful not only for the opportunity to share these critical lessons, but also to participate in panels, chat with other leaders, and exchange ideas and insights. I’ve missed these times and places of connection that had once been a routine part of my work.
In fact, the past two years have highlighted precisely how much we need others, personally and professionally. Research into the impact of the COVID pandemic has shown that increased social isolation is associated with decreased life satisfaction, higher levels of depression, and lower levels of psychological well-being. Importantly, this research also confirmed that professionals who report high social isolation experience much lower satisfaction with their work.
When I talk about the importance of networking, many people assume that I’m highlighting the need for transactional connections, the awkward small talk at a professional meetup or cocktail hour while holding a plate of cheese and crackers. This is a common misunderstanding of what networking is or should be. Those opportunistic conversations designed to lead to a specific goal or the delivery of a quick sales pitch are precisely why so many of the professional women I work with tell me they dread networking events.
At your next virtual networking opportunity, whether it’s a Zoom meeting or a virtual event, focus on the others who are attending and be curious about them. Find something that’s interesting about them that sparks you to want to learn more. Perhaps it’s the backdrop they’ve selected. Perhaps it’s a unique necklace that they’re wearing.
The same posture of curiosity—of authentic interest in the other person—is equally helpful at in-person events. Shift your focus from what you hope to gain from the conversation to what you’d like to learn about the other person. Why did they choose to attend this event? What are they reading or watching on Netflix? Good open-ended questions (with active listening on your part) are often the basis for interactions that feel authentic rather than transactional.
Throughout my career, and especially recently, I’ve seen that relationships and networks are a vital source of resilience. So many women I’ve spoken with have reported feeling overworked, burned out, and frustrated. Networks are a key resource here, providing opportunity to interact with others, equipping us to create context for demands on our time and energy and re-envision the challenges we’re facing. They can help us persist—or help us find a new path forward.
This is the hidden power of networks of influence: they remind us that we are not alone.